Once again proving how out of touch he is with his daughter, Michael Lohan went on the Maury Povich show today and delivered a televised message to LiLo in which he insulted her ... and then promised to "save her life."
First Mike called Lindsay a "hollow person" ... then claimed there was "nothing left in her" -- and finally said he "couldn't even look at her."
Then, after the dramatic plea, Michael actually had the stones to say, "I hate to speak out publicly like this..."
Right....
FYI -- Today's show was called "You're 14 ... Stop Lap Dancing and Trying to Get Pregnant."
The dude who was arrested for drunk driving a motorized recliner says he wrecked his kick-ass ride because he was trying to pop a wheelie ... and the CHICK RIDING ON THE BACK OF THE La-Z-Boy threw off his balance!
We just got off the phone with 61-year-old Dennis LeRoy, who told us the only thing harder to do than pop a wheelie on a racing chair after slamming 8 beers is popping a wheelie on a racing chair with a chick on the back after slamming 8 beers.
The added weight must have thrown off LeRoy's already dicey equilibrium -- because the unfortunate passenger ended up getting tossed from the ride and LeRoy ended up slamming into a parked car ... which landed him in the slammer.
Mickey Rourke tried using a football situation to defend his constant use of the incredibly offensive, homophobic f-word -- but this rant definitely isn't doing him any favors.
WARNING: This video contains extremely explicit language.
Mickey randomly went on an expletive filled diatribe the other night in NYC, saying his much criticized use of the word last November had "nothing to do with gay" and explained, "punkass ... f**got .... it's the same thing, understand?"
Macy Gray made quite an impression on the "Dancing with the Stars" judges last night -- but it had more to do with her breaking out the phrase "busted my cherry" on live television than her Viennese Waltz.
It's clear the judges will always remember Macy's first time.
He was only supposed to take questions from the reporters, but suddenly George Clooney was taking in a whole lot more when a fake journalist began stripping off his clothes and professing his love right to the Cloon's face!
It all went down in Italy earlier today when the dude snuck into the presser for the Venice Film Festival by posing as a reporter. But once he got the mic, the clothes came off and he started yelling things like, "Please, take me George!"
Clooney played it cool -- tellin' the not-so-studly stripper "You know, the tie looks good."
She's still not backing off her Hitler and Castro statements -- but now Aubrey O'Day is singing her own "brilliant" praises, calling herself, "a 25-year-old pop star liberal who had the courage to go on FOX News against three 60-year-old republicans and have an opinion."
And in a move more transparent than her Playboy spread outfits -- her dinner date last night was of Cuban descent.
It's the worst thing to come out of Aubrey O'Day's mouth since her last Danity Kane song -- 'cause last night on "The Sean Hannity Show," the "singer" praised both Fidel Castro and Adolf Hitler as "brilliant" men.
Yeah, she's an idiot, but more importantly -- what the hell was Aubrey O'Day doing on Hannity in the first place?!
Jesse James could've been a dead man yesterday afternoon when the train he was riding in collided with a semi-truck hauling a load of tomatoes.
Jesse and his 11-year-old son were among 279 passengers on the choo-choo as it rolled through Monterey County, California -- when it suddenly plowed through the semi which was inconveniently stopped on the tracks.
Amtrak and the California Highway Patrol confirmed no one was hurt in the ketchup-creating crash ... which would have made for some really, really awesome video.
James posted photos of the wreckage on his Twitter page, saying "This trip is turning out to be a real train wreck ... train was going 70 mph, good thing the truck wasn't Peterbuilt. Would have been Tragic."
We finally got to ask Stephon Marbury why the hell he's been livestreaming his life for the past week -- and his rationale is as logical as you'd expect from a person who's been eating Vaseline, getting into car accidents, bawling his eyes out and impromptu dancing for all the world to see.
P.S. -- The completely sane reason he was at LAX yesterday -- to pick up a random 30-something man he bonded with over the Internet.
There's a bunch of backstory here, but chances are if you've never seen an episode of the "Real Housewives of New Jersey," you won't care anyway. Just enjoy this nuclear dinner freakout, courtesy of Teresa and Danielle.
On last night's ridiculous season finale, dishes flew, one called the other a "prostitute whore" and a table was nearly tossed over.
P.S. -- Did we mention some of the ladies' kids were around? "Real" classy.
Rehabbed former actress Tara Reid continued on her downward spiral ... as she attempted to maneuver a flight of stairs at an event in Cannes this weekend.
The 33-year-old has made a triumphant return since checking into Promises Treatment Facility late last year.
She was headed for the driver's seat -- but the dude Janice Dickinson was rolling with stepped in at the last second and likely saved her from a DUI ... or worse.
The Jurassic supermodel drove herself to Nobu last night -- and almost ripped one pap a new one when he called her a "drunkie" to her face.
When she exited the restaurant less than an hour later -- screaming, and stumbling -- it got even more disastrous.
